Archive for February, 2010

Cardio Kick Boxing or Corporate Interview: Make first impressions count

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

 

by MARI PAT VARGA on FEBRUARY 23, 2010[EDIT]

On Saturday I went to take a cardio kick-boxing class I attend on a regular basis.  It is normally taught by an energetic and very fit young woman named, Anne. As a bunch of us were mingling and waiting for the class to begin, a rather disheveled man came in to the studio space and appeared to be getting organized to teach the class.  He looked as if he had just rolled out of bed, was in need of a shave and could have benefitted from running a comb through his long, stringy hair that seemed be be flying in many different directions.  He wore what appeared to be sweat pants and a t-shirt left over from the ’80’s and capped off the outfit by tying a tattered red bandana across his forehead.  His t-shirt, likely purchased when he was 20 pounds lighter, revealed a protruding belly.  He explained that he was the substitute instructor.

The reactions from the people in the class varied.  There were several who rolled their eyes in disbelief and left the room clearly deciding this was not the instructor for them.  Some just looked shocked and others, like myself, held back a smile convinced that the “candid camera” folks would jump out any minute and say, “surprise!”  It would have been good fodder for a Saturday Night Live skit.

And, here’s the kicker…it was a good class and he was a good instructor.  After those of us who remained got past the shock of his appearance, we committed to getting what we had come for – a good workout – and he delivered.

So, what is the moral of this story?  I am not sure other than to say – first impressions do matter.  This instructor’s haphazard appearance turned some people off and they left – not even giving him a chance – while the rest hung in there but likely driven more by our own desire to exercise rather than necessarily putting their confidence in him.

None of us want to judge people prematurely.  We all wish we had multiple opportunities to make a first impression but experience tells us we often don’t.  This funny fellow at my gym may seem an extreme case but in my years as a hiring manager I saw examples of this time and again – well meaning people who made the wrong calls about what they wore, how they behaved and what they said.  Everything speaks.  Everything tells a story.

In this tough and competitive job market do everything you can to communicate your competence and confidence – don’t leave room for interpretation.

 

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Can smiles predict marriage success?

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

I loved Clara’s thought-provoking article about the power of the smile and what it can predict about the future success of relationships  Let me know what you think!

By Clara Moskowitz, LiveScience Staff Writer

In one test, the researchers looked at people’s college yearbook photos, and rated their smile intensity from 1 to 10. None of the people who fell within the top 10 percent of smile strength had divorced, while within the bottom 10 percent of smilers, almost one in four had had a marriage that ended, the researchers say. (Scoring was based on the stretch in two muscles: one that pulls up on the mouth, and one that creates wrinkles around the eyes.)

In a second trial, the research team asked people over age 65 to provide photos from their childhood (the average age in the pictures was 10 years old). The researchers scored each person’s smile, and found that only 11 percent of the biggest smilers had been divorced, while 31 percent of the frowners had experienced a broken marriage.

Overall, the results indicate that people who frown in photos are five times more likely to get a divorce than people who smile.

While the connection is striking, the researchers stress that they can’t conclude anything about the cause of the correlation.

"Maybe smiling represents a positive disposition towards life," said study leader Matthew Hertenstein, a psychologist at DePauw University in Indiana. "Or maybe smiling people attract other happier people, and the combination may lead to a greater likelihood of a long-lasting marriage. We don’t really know for sure what’s causing it."

Hertenstein said he has considered other explanations, such as the possibility that people who smile more often tend to attract more friends, and a larger support network makes it easier to keep a marriage healthy. Or it could be that people who smile when a photographer tells them to are more likely to have obedient personalities, which could make marriage easier.

The results of the study fit into a larger pattern of research that has found many personality characteristics can be determined from very thin slices of behavior. Basically, we often reveal ourselves in the most subtle, simple ways.

And smiling in photographs has been shown to be correlated with a number of traits, including agenerally happier disposition.

"I think [our results] go along with a lot of the literature that’s been coming out over the last five to 10 years, which shows that positive emotionality is incredibly important in our lives," Hertenstein told LiveScience. "There are many, many beneficial outcomes to a positive disposition."

The findings are also notable because they found a connection between photos taken when people were young and marriage outcomes that sometimes occurred much later.

"It feeds into this idea that what’s occurring earlier in our lives in terms of our present situation and our mental state can predict things that occur decades later," Hertenstein said. "Showing the continuity in who we are is really important."

The study is detailed in the April 5 issue of the journal Motivation and Emotion

 

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