After reading Diane Keaton’s memoir, Then Again, I was reminded of the power of keeping a journal.  Diane’s mother wrote about her life and those she loved and it provided great perspective and solace for Diane as she reviewed and reflected on her own choices and decisions.

As we enter the New Year, we find ourselves with another opportunity to start a journal or continue writing in one.  Writing, even if it is a paragraph or a single sentence a day forces us to be present and pay attention to our lives.  Our reflections and memories can be a source of comfort and clarity for ourselves and even those we love.

If you have a hard time getting started, consider picking up a copy of Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird – a great guide to entering the world of words.  Here’s what she said:

“Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They depen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul. When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again. It’s like singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can’t stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on that ship.”
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

One of the biggest stumbling blocks to good communication is the absence of context.  Context is defined as a set of facts or circumstances that surround a particular event, situation or communication.  At best, that information can help the listener put things in the proper perspective.  It can also be a persuasive tool to influence with integrity.

I recently watched an early Ryan Gosling film called, "Half Nelson."  In the film he plays an engaging and inventive teacher who also struggles with his dark side.  One of the ways he decides to get his students involved in history class is by giving them random dates in history.  Their job was to not only find out what happened on that day in time but to also provide context.  In one minute or less, they had to describe what happened, why it was significant, the impact it had and how it influenced the future.  It was amazing to listen to how the students so clearly defined and described a point in time.

This is a great exercise for all business presentations.  When you think of any of your key positioning statements  ("Our banking retail experience is solely focused on the customer…").  Respond to why is this significant (no one else is doing what we are doing in XXX  XXX); what impact it has on the customer (in recent JD Power Surveys, our bank was rated XXX);  and how you will influence the future ("we predict this trend will continue and we will remain at the front end…").  Asking yourself these questions is also helpful in determining the strength of your arguments and where you may need to fortify and/or explain.

If you are not influencing as powerfully as you’d like, consider context.  Give your audience the full picture so that they can let down their defenses, open their minds, engage in the conversation, feel confident in the information and be open to you as the speaker.

I picked up the latest issue, 10/3/11, of the New Yorker today and read Atul Gawande’s article, Personal Best.

He wrote about the reality that all professionals, regardless of their field, reach a plateau at certain junctures in their career.  As a surgeon, he realized, that no one had observed or critiqued one of his surgeries in over seven years.  He goes on to share the power and benefits of his experience in getting feedback and perspective from outside eyes and ears.

Everyone can improve their game with a good coach.

I also appreciated his example of a great coach teaching the importance of details.  Here’s a story about renowned college basketball coach, John Wooden.

First squad meeting each season, he had his players practice putting their socks on.  He demonstrated.  He carefully rolled each sock over his toes, up his foot, around the heel, and pulled it up snug, then went back to his toes and smoothed out the material along the sock’s length, making sure there were no wrinkles or creases.  He had two purposes in doing this.  First, wrinkles cause blisters.  Blisters cost games.  Second, he wanted his team to learn how crucial seemingly trivial details could me.  “Details create success” was the creed of a coach who won ten N.C.A.A. men’s basketball championships.

Athletes, musicians, surgeons, CXOs, managers - Look for opportunities to coach and be coached – there is always something in it for you.

Moderating a panel can be a great opportunity to enhance your own visibility while managing a dynamic conversation between experts in the field.  The role is one not unlike that of a orchestra conductor.  You are directing, guiding and getting people to play beautiful music together.  Here are a few tips to keep in mind, before, during and after the panel.

• Thank the panel and the audience

• Summarize key ideas

• Share where audience can contact panelists for more information

• Create online blogs, wikis or forums to continue the conversation

• Send thank you notes to panelists

3 Ways to Eliminate “Corporate Speak” in 2011

"“Corporate speak” is the gobbledygook that slows down progress and understanding in companies across the world. This problem is not just limited to large corporations; it also runs rampant among small businesses, entrepreneurs and lawyers. It is often a symptom of your environment. Could you imagine telling a loved one about the synergies of red wine complementing the innovative marinade on your steak dinner, not to mention having the bandwidth to sit down and commiserate with your counterpart? If you did…you’d often be eating alone.

So let’s make a resolution to ban corporate speak in 2011. But how? Here are three questions to ask yourself when successfully merging action-oriented planning steps to directives…I mean…when you actually write something:

1.Who is my audience? Yes, your audience may use corporate speak. However, your message may be more effective by avoiding corporate speak in such an environment. Go through your writing and identify any words that your loved ones won’t understand. This doesn’t work in technical documents, but it will in 99% of everything else. If you can use plain, short language in a land of corporate speak you’ll be amazed at the response.

2.Why am I using that word or sentence? Many people use corporate speak because it makes them sound smarter. Most people assume “sounding professional” is the same as “sounding smart.” It’s not. Let your intelligence shine through your ideas. People often use complicated sounding words simply to sound intelligent. Don’t be that guy (or girl)!

Less is more. People seem to think that the longer something is, the more intelligent or important it is. This is especially important in email. Many people glance over long emails. Can your entire point be summed up in three regular sentences? I bet it can. Try it and watch how soon you’ll be able to sum up everything in one single sentence."

The words we use shape the relationships we have and the experiences we create. Take the extra step to ensure the words you use have meaning not only for our audiences but for yourself as well. 

I have always been a believer in the concept that each of us needs our own personal board of directors – a group of people we can pull together four times a year to share where we are, our strategies for what is ahead and receive candid feedback and guidance.

In her talk at the Executives Club in Chicago,"Building a Personal Board– Powerful Relationships that Last" Carol Bernick, Executive Chairman of the Board, Alberto Culver Company, outlined her strategies for building a Personal Board:

• The smartest people I know ask for help.  Ask for help and seek advice from all facets of your life – work, family community.  Out of all of the people that you know, ask yourself who can help and who really cares?  With that, be very selective as you build your posse

• I have a core posse made up of family, girlfriends and 10-12 business executives I can call on any time I need to test an idea.

• The key elements that make a person a contributor as a personal director are strength, smarts and a illingness to push back when needed.

• Take advantage of every opportunity to look for a new director:  your corporate board work, not- for-profit boards, speakers or participants at industry events who impress you with their insights and a genuine openness.  Be thoughtful and make the connection.  This isn’t for a list of Facebook friends.  This is a circle who will really care about you.

• An important part of your life today is probably giving back to your community with sweat equity, dollars, your insights and passion.  I have found the people I’ve met through this kind of shared commitment to be an invaluable resource in helping me address all kinds of issues.

    

Next, in her presentation, “Key Traits to Look  for When Putting Together your ‘Personal Board’”Christy Carpenter, Executive Vice President & Chief Operating Officer, The Paley Center for Media, offered these tips:

• It is essential to have a core group of friends and professional acquaintances who will give me the straight scoop as well as the encouragement and emotional support I need.   Because of the informality of my group, I feel more comfortable thinking of them as my “kitchen cabinet” than a board. 

• When it comes to our professional lives, I do think there is real value in consciously developing a group of advisors who extend beyond our close friends, who you feel comfortable calling on as issues and important decisions arise.  My experience suggests making sure this group offers some key traits and expertise. 

• First, you want people you trust have your best interests at heart and with whom you’re comfortable.  If you don’t feel safe to let your hair down, you may not get advice that’s truly on target.  Trust is essential. 

• Secondly, they should also be people who will give you honest feedback and not simply tell you what you want to hear.   Feedback, whether negative or positive, will flow more freely and be easier to receive if it comes from people who know you and care about you.

• Thirdly, you want a range of expertise and perspective.  Don’t only pick people who mirror your own background, skill set, and life experience.  Make sure they have the expertise that you lack.

• Fourthly, by all means include people who think big and who will push you to reach for more than you might imagine possible.   Women are often more likely to doubt themselves than men.  We need to make sure we get the jolt we need if we’re wallowing in self-doubt or thinking small in terms of our careers and our potential impact on the world. 

• Other people sometimes see us more clearly than we see ourselves.  It’s really helpful to get feedback – some of which may point out weaknesses, of course – but we also need feedback and inspiration that gets us to open up, to dream, and to take action to manifest a bigger role for ourselves.  We all need to make sure that we’re aligning with our passions even if it’s a leap to get there.  So find at least one person inclined to push you to be bolder.  Someone who really believes in you and is inclined to ask, “why not?”

• And lastly, in considering your board, I’ve found it helpful to reflect on those one or two people who have had the biggest impact on us and whose voices we can hear in our heads from time to time, even if they are no longer living.  For me – and many people – our mothers spring to mind.  Perhaps for you, it was your father, or a grandparent.  But regardless, it’s helpful to reflect a little on the foundational messages that were imprinted in our heads during childhood and follow us through our lives as we make key decisions and deal with life’s constant challenges.  They may occupy a seat even if you’re not conscious of them – an invisible seat.  So why not bring them into the circle?

Thank you to the Executives Club for these great presentations and much appreciation to Ms. Bernick and Ms. Carpenter for their guidance!

Sitting down for an interview with the media assumes a few things:  You are prepared, you’ve done your homework, you know about the reporter and the publication… All of these elements are important but once you begin keep in mind the following:

1. Be Bold:  Know what your headline is and make it bold.  "Early childhood education is the single most important element in closing the achievement gap."  "Talent drives strategy, strategy does not drive talent."
2. Bundle:  There is the "magic of three."  Bundling key ideas in a group of three makes your message memorable and makes you easier to quote.  "We believe in the power of sales, service and support."  "Our customers value our quality, convenience and cozy atmosphere."
3. Bridge:  You will be challenged in an interview.  You will be encouraged to enter into controversial topics.  Don’t resist or become defensive, instead accept what is thrown at you and bridge to what is most important.  "I appreciate that you’d like to focus on our numbers for the quarter but what is likely more valuable to your listeners, is what is happening overall in the market."
4. Bounce:  A great interview is one that displays energy and builds momntum.  Gaining control of an interview is not only about your verbal acuity it is also about your personal energy.  Look attentive, lean forward, listen intently, and be expressive.  Your enthusiasm will translate into credibility, conviction and commitment.   

It has happened to all of us.  We are introduced to a professional colleague who piques our interest.  Maybe they are pursuing a line of business that intrigues us…maybe they have a body of expertise we want to know more about…perhaps we simply want to know how they got to where they are.  Knowing how to approach that individual in a respectful and focused way is key to building a relationship.

I have experienced, myself, individuals seeking me out for advice and input.  I am always happy to volunteer my time to support a colleague AND too often I find that the approach can be fine-tuned to avoid awkward, unfocused conversations that tend burn bridges rather than build them.

My suggestion is to follow this protocol:

• Email the professional colleague first and remind them of where and how you met.
• Make a specific ask.
• Offer to take them to lunch or for a coffee OR request a time-bound phone call.
• Follow-up with a thank you card or gesture.

The initial request might go something like this:

Sandra, I met you at last evening’s XXX networking event.  I was delighted that Bob Jones introduced us.  I have long admired your success and would welcome the opportunity to take you out to lunch or for a coffee.  I have one very specific area of interest that I would love your feedback on – Serving on a Board.  I am at a place in my career where I believe it is time to pursue a board placement and because you have served on so many boards – I know I could learn from you and would greatly appreciate your guidance.

Let me know if in the next month or so your schedule would allow me to take you to lunch or a coffee. If for any reason your schedule is too full at this time, I would appreciate a 20 minute phone chat and I promise to honor that time period.

Thanks so much….

I have found overtime, that this kind of respectful and focused "ask" reaps affirmative responses and it positions you as a true professional.

Sustaining the effort is key to reaching your goals.  My newsletter this month features many ideas on how to "live the lessons" to ensure success both personally and professionally….Take a look: http://tinyurl.com/2dlllcb

Earlier this month on vacation, I found myself in Huntington Beach, CA. (better known in some circles as "Surf City").  My visit just happened to coincide with the finals of the U.S. Open Surfing championships.  Curious too see what this kind of sporting event would be like, my brother, who I was visiting, took me out onto the Huntington Beach Pier in time to watch the men’s final event. It had come down to the two top surfers – hometown native, Brett Simpson and South African, Jordy Smith – the number one ranked surfer in the world.

The two highly respected surfers paddled out to see what waves they might catch – as thousands of fans and on-lookers watched from the beach and the pier.  The only problem – no waves.  The ocean offered nothing – or at best very little.  

Smith and Simpson spent the first 15 minutes of their 35 minute heat waiting for something to ride.

I found myself pondering this dilemma and drawing the obvious parallels between these two surfer’s dilemma and what we all face in our everyday lives – waiting and hoping for the right wave.

As the heat wore on, Simpson made his move with whatever decent wave came his way.  From my novice eye, I was amazed at what he was able to do with waves that appeared tiny and impossible to leverage.  Smith waited and waited – finally grabbing, too late in the game, whatever he could and was not able to execute.  Simpson’s heat total of 13.97 our of 20 topped Smith’s score of 8.33 making him the first back-to-back U.S. Open winner since 1985-1986.

The hometown hero edged out the legend and as one commentator said, "He turned garbage into gold – he was smart, not lucky."

This experience has stayed with me as a great reminder that when we are "lucky" enough to get the right waves, things smoothly and seamlessly go our way.  But more often, we have to do the very best we can with the opportunities that come our way – and those opportunities may be hard to see, challenging to surface and require an extraordinary amount of persistence and commitment but in the end, the victory is somehow sweeter.

Work with the waves that come your way.