One of the biggest stumbling blocks to good communication is the absence of context. Context is defined as a set of facts or circumstances that surround a particular event, situation or communication. At best, that information can help the listener put things in the proper perspective. It can also be a persuasive tool to influence with integrity.
I recently watched an early Ryan Gosling film called, "Half Nelson." In the film he plays an engaging and inventive teacher who also struggles with his dark side. One of the ways he decides to get his students involved in history class is by giving them random dates in history. Their job was to not only find out what happened on that day in time but to also provide context. In one minute or less, they had to describe what happened, why it was significant, the impact it had and how it influenced the future. It was amazing to listen to how the students so clearly defined and described a point in time.
This is a great exercise for all business presentations. When you think of any of your key positioning statements ("Our banking retail experience is solely focused on the customer…"). Respond to why is this significant (no one else is doing what we are doing in XXX XXX); what impact it has on the customer (in recent JD Power Surveys, our bank was rated XXX); and how you will influence the future ("we predict this trend will continue and we will remain at the front end…"). Asking yourself these questions is also helpful in determining the strength of your arguments and where you may need to fortify and/or explain.
If you are not influencing as powerfully as you’d like, consider context. Give your audience the full picture so that they can let down their defenses, open their minds, engage in the conversation, feel confident in the information and be open to you as the speaker.
Drew Westen is a professor of psychology at Emory University and the author of “The Political Brain: The Role of Emotion in Deciding the Fate of the Nation.”
IT was a blustery day in Washington on Jan. 20, 2009, as it often seems to be on the day of a presidential inauguration. As I stood with my 8-year-old daughter, watching the president deliver his inaugural address, I had a feeling of unease. It wasn’t just that the man who could be so eloquent had seemingly chosen not to be on this auspicious occasion, although that turned out to be a troubling harbinger of things to come. It was that there was a story the American people were waiting to hear — and needed to hear — but he didn’t tell it. And in the ensuing months he continued not to tell it, no matter how outrageous the slings and arrows his opponents threw at him.
The stories our leaders tell us matter, probably almost as much as the stories our parents tell us as children, because they orient us to what is, what could be, and what should be; to the worldviews they hold and to the values they hold sacred. Our brains evolved to “expect” stories with a particular structure, with protagonists and villains, a hill to be climbed or a battle to be fought. Our species existed for more than 100,000 years before the earliest signs of literacy, and another 5,000 years would pass before the majority of humans would know how to read and write.
Stories were the primary way our ancestors transmitted knowledge and values. Today we seek movies, novels and “news stories” that put the events of the day in a form that our brains evolved to find compelling and memorable. Children crave bedtime stories; the holy books of the three great monotheistic religions are written in parables; and as research in cognitive science has shown, lawyers whose closing arguments tell a story win jury trials against their legal adversaries who just lay out “the facts of the case.”
When Barack Obama rose to the lectern on Inauguration Day, the nation was in tatters. Americans were scared and angry. The economy was spinning in reverse. Three-quarters of a million people lost their jobs that month. Many had lost their homes, and with them the only nest eggs they had. Even the usually impervious upper middle class had seen a decade of stagnant or declining investment, with the stock market dropping in value with no end in sight. Hope was as scarce as credit.
In that context, Americans needed their president to tell them a story that made sense of what they had just been through, what caused it, and how it was going to end. They needed to hear that he understood what they were feeling, that he would track down those responsible for their pain and suffering, and that he would restore order and safety. What they were waiting for, in broad strokes, was a story something like this:
“I know you’re scared and angry. Many of you have lost your jobs, your homes, your hope. This was a disaster, but it was not a natural disaster. It was made by Wall Street gamblers who speculated with your lives and futures. It was made by conservative extremists who told us that if we just eliminated regulations and rewarded greed and recklessness, it would all work out. But it didn’t work out. And it didn’t work out 80 years ago, when the same people sold our grandparents the same bill of goods, with the same results. But we learned something from our grandparents about how to fix it, and we will draw on their wisdom. We will restore business confidence the old-fashioned way: by putting money back in the pockets of working Americans by putting them back to work, and by restoring integrity to our financial markets and demanding it of those who want to run them. I can’t promise that we won’t make mistakes along the way. But I can promise you that they will be honest mistakes, and that your government has your back again.”
Whether you are a politician or business leader – the value of leverages that power or story and transparent communication is essential.
Last evening I ran into my neighbor, Dan, after we had both parked our cars in our respective garages and were making our way through our backyards to the house. Being the friendly neighbor that I aspire to be, I said to Dan, “Hey, how was your day?” He looked at me and said with a straight face, “Well, I’ve been on quite a transformative journey! I have shifted many of my paradigms, increased my intellectual bandwidth, clarified my understanding of our company’s vision and I’m fully engaged and on-board! After a second or two trying to determine if he was for real, we bought started to laugh.
He went on to describe how he began his day thinking he had walked into a Dilbert comic strip. His work team had been pulled together to review their processes and practices to determine how they impact the customer’s experience. Their focus together (it was the start of a three day retreat) was to re-invent the way they served their customers.
Dan went on to tell me – all kidding aside – that the day had been very productive and eye-opening and he thought the work they were doing together was not only important but was also energizing. The only thing that got in the way, he said, was the facilitator’s excessive use of jargon. He said there were grins and smirks and a few rolling eyes as the session started and it wasn’t until they were a few hours in were they able to overlook the corporate-speak and begin to find value in the process.
Are you guilty? Am I? Likely we all are to some extent. I believe that business jargon can serve a purpose. At best it is communication shorthand (for those who speak the same language) to convey larger concepts, issues or problems. For instance, saying that a certain initiative is “mission-critical” is an abbreviated way of saying “focus on the XYZ project immediately because if we don’t accomplish this well, the future of our organization is in jeopardy.” At worst, if over-used, it becomes white noise and no one pays attention. AND, as in Dan’s case, that overuse can be a distraction and a turn-off.
"“Corporate speak” is the gobbledygook that slows down progress and understanding in companies across the world. This problem is not just limited to large corporations; it also runs rampant among small businesses, entrepreneurs and lawyers. It is often a symptom of your environment. Could you imagine telling a loved one about the synergies of red wine complementing the innovative marinade on your steak dinner, not to mention having the bandwidth to sit down and commiserate with your counterpart? If you did…you’d often be eating alone.
So let’s make a resolution to ban corporate speak in 2011. But how? Here are three questions to ask yourself when successfully merging action-oriented planning steps to directives…I mean…when you actually write something:
1.Who is my audience? Yes, your audience may use corporate speak. However, your message may be more effective by avoiding corporate speak in such an environment. Go through your writing and identify any words that your loved ones won’t understand. This doesn’t work in technical documents, but it will in 99% of everything else. If you can use plain, short language in a land of corporate speak you’ll be amazed at the response.
2.Why am I using that word or sentence? Many people use corporate speak because it makes them sound smarter. Most people assume “sounding professional” is the same as “sounding smart.” It’s not. Let your intelligence shine through your ideas. People often use complicated sounding words simply to sound intelligent. Don’t be that guy (or girl)!
Less is more. People seem to think that the longer something is, the more intelligent or important it is. This is especially important in email. Many people glance over long emails. Can your entire point be summed up in three regular sentences? I bet it can. Try it and watch how soon you’ll be able to sum up everything in one single sentence."
Imbedded in Jim’s challenge is the central idea to think before you speak (or write). Recognize that what might be a pedestrian habit to you is akin to nails scrapping a blackboard to another. Notice that what you view as an expedient way of communicating may be perceived as lazy or pretentious.
Dan told me that while the speaker ultimately proved his value, the time wasted at the session’s start could have been eliminated if the speaker focused on building rapport with the audience in a more authentic way. If he took time to ask himself – what language should I use to engage this audience? Are there phrases and expressions I typically use that might be foreign or even offensive to this group? Is there a way to share with my audience why I use the words I use? For instance, if you favor terms like “journey” and “transformation” let the audience in on it. Say, “You will hear me today refer to this endeavor as a journey…I use that word for a very specific reason and let me share why…”
The words we use shape the relationships we have and the experiences we create. Take the extra step to ensure the words you use have meaning not only for our audiences but for yourself as well.
I have always been a believer in the concept that each of us needs our own personal board of directors – a group of people we can pull together four times a year to share where we are, our strategies for what is ahead and receive candid feedback and guidance.
In her talk at the Executives Club in Chicago,"Building a Personal Board– Powerful Relationships that Last" Carol Bernick, Executive Chairman of the Board, Alberto Culver Company, outlined her strategies for building a Personal Board:
The smartest people I know ask for help. Ask for help and seek advice from all facets of your life – work, family community. Out of all of the people that you know, ask yourself who can help and who really cares? With that, be very selective as you build your posse
I have a core posse made up of family, girlfriends and 10-12 business executives I can call on any time I need to test an idea.
The key elements that make a person a contributor as a personal director are strength, smarts and a illingness to push back when needed.
Take advantage of every opportunity to look for a new director: your corporate board work, not- for-profit boards, speakers or participants at industry events who impress you with their insights and a genuine openness. Be thoughtful and make the connection. This isn’t for a list of Facebook friends. This is a circle who will really care about you.
An important part of your life today is probably giving back to your community with sweat equity, dollars, your insights and passion. I have found the people I’ve met through this kind of shared commitment to be an invaluable resource in helping me address all kinds of issues.
Next, in her presentation, “Key Traits to Look for When Putting Together your ‘Personal Board’”Christy Carpenter, Executive Vice President & Chief Operating Officer, The Paley Center for Media, offered these tips:
It is essential to have a core group of friends and professional acquaintances who will give me the straight scoop as well as the encouragement and emotional support I need. Because of the informality of my group, I feel more comfortable thinking of them as my “kitchen cabinet” than a board.
When it comes to our professional lives, I do think there is real value in consciously developing a group of advisors who extend beyond our close friends, who you feel comfortable calling on as issues and important decisions arise. My experience suggests making sure this group offers some key traits and expertise.
First, you want people you trust have your best interests at heart and with whom you’re comfortable. If you don’t feel safe to let your hair down, you may not get advice that’s truly on target. Trust is essential.
Secondly, they should also be people who will give you honest feedback and not simply tell you what you want to hear. Feedback, whether negative or positive, will flow more freely and be easier to receive if it comes from people who know you and care about you.
Thirdly, you want a range of expertise and perspective. Don’t only pick people who mirror your own background, skill set, and life experience. Make sure they have the expertise that you lack.
Fourthly, by all means include people who think big and who will push you to reach for more than you might imagine possible. Women are often more likely to doubt themselves than men. We need to make sure we get the jolt we need if we’re wallowing in self-doubt or thinking small in terms of our careers and our potential impact on the world.
Other people sometimes see us more clearly than we see ourselves. It’s really helpful to get feedback – some of which may point out weaknesses, of course – but we also need feedback and inspiration that gets us to open up, to dream, and to take action to manifest a bigger role for ourselves. We all need to make sure that we’re aligning with our passions even if it’s a leap to get there. So find at least one person inclined to push you to be bolder. Someone who really believes in you and is inclined to ask, “why not?”
And lastly, in considering your board, I’ve found it helpful to reflect on those one or two people who have had the biggest impact on us and whose voices we can hear in our heads from time to time, even if they are no longer living. For me – and many people – our mothers spring to mind. Perhaps for you, it was your father, or a grandparent. But regardless, it’s helpful to reflect a little on the foundational messages that were imprinted in our heads during childhood and follow us through our lives as we make key decisions and deal with life’s constant challenges. They may occupy a seat even if you’re not conscious of them – an invisible seat. So why not bring them into the circle?
Thank you to the Executives Club for these great presentations and much appreciation to Ms. Bernick and Ms. Carpenter for their guidance!
It has happened to all of us. We are introduced to a professional colleague who piques our interest. Maybe they are pursuing a line of business that intrigues us…maybe they have a body of expertise we want to know more about…perhaps we simply want to know how they got to where they are. Knowing how to approach that individual in a respectful and focused way is key to building a relationship.
I have experienced, myself, individuals seeking me out for advice and input. I am always happy to volunteer my time to support a colleague AND too often I find that the approach can be fine-tuned to avoid awkward, unfocused conversations that tend burn bridges rather than build them.
My suggestion is to follow this protocol:
Email the professional colleague first and remind them of where and how you met.
Make a specific ask.
Offer to take them to lunch or for a coffee OR request a time-bound phone call.
Follow-up with a thank you card or gesture.
The initial request might go something like this:
Sandra, I met you at last evening’s XXX networking event. I was delighted that Bob Jones introduced us. I have long admired your success and would welcome the opportunity to take you out to lunch or for a coffee. I have one very specific area of interest that I would love your feedback on – Serving on a Board. I am at a place in my career where I believe it is time to pursue a board placement and because you have served on so many boards – I know I could learn from you and would greatly appreciate your guidance.
Let me know if in the next month or so your schedule would allow me to take you to lunch or a coffee. If for any reason your schedule is too full at this time, I would appreciate a 20 minute phone chat and I promise to honor that time period.
Thanks so much….
I have found overtime, that this kind of respectful and focused "ask" reaps affirmative responses and it positions you as a true professional.
As a speech coach, I talk to my clients about the value of incorporating stories and real life examples into their presentations. I encourage them to use the 3N method for collecting those stories: NOTICE, NOTE and NARRATE.
NOTICE – Keep your eyes and ears open for stories and everyday experiences that spark your interest and teach you something.
NOTE – write them down in a journal - capture them somewhere so that you can develop and fine-tune them. Look for how the story might be applied to the world of work. Is there a business lesson imbedded in the story. Can it help you illustrate a point you are trying to make?
NARRATE - Tell the stories, practice delivering them out loud and see how you can continue to hone.
Here is a practice opportunity:
On Saturday, February 19, 2011 NASCAR newcomer Trevor Bayne won the 53rd Daytona 500 in double overtime. I am not a racing fan nor do I follow it but when I heard this story I wanted to know more. Here are some self-selected highlights:
Trevor just turned 20
Trevor has only been able to drive legally for 4 years
Trevor became the race’s youngest winner
This was only Trevor’s second NASCAR Sprint Cup Series race
The race experienced a 14 car crash (that included the race’s most experienced drivers) and a record number of lead changes and caution periods
Team Owner – Wood Brother’s first win since 1979
Preparing for the race he asked himself, "What do I need to do to not let the mountains get too high, and just stay focused?"
Trevor donated part of of his winnings to an orphanage in Mexico.
On this race day NASCAR marked the 10th anniversary of the death of its fallen hero, Dale Earnhardt, and it appears that a totally unexpected new hero emerged.
Bayne has exhibited great humility and gratitude and has conducted himself in a down-to-earth manner.
Bayne said. "One thing I haven’t really talked about is keeping our expectations realistic here.We won this race and that sets the bar high, but if we would have finished 15th we would have been happy."
These are a few elements I jotted down after googling Bayne and the race story. The next step in the process is to begin pondering what the real-world lessons might be unearthed through this story.
To discover them, consider asking questions like:
Was inexperience an asset?
How can experience get in the way of success?
What discoveries where made by the drivers – were there lessons learned?
What can be learned from the way this unexpected hero conducted himself before and after the win?
Despite a lack of wins, what does this story say about the tenacity of the team owners who pursued yet another opportunity to race with a beginner?
There are likely many elements of the story that can be mined and more points that can be made. Practice incorporating story into your business presentation with this news story – see what you can develop. Create an opportunity in the next 48 hours to use it.
NOTICE, NOTE and NARRATE – This process will help make your presentations memorable.
LAS VEGAS — It was one of those storybook, happily-ever-after endings, seen often in romantic comedies and dime-store novels. Trevor Bayne – a household name perhaps only in his hometown of Knoxville, Tenn. – led the last two laps to win the 2011 Daytona 500 the day after celebrating his 20th birthday to become the youngest victor of what’s often referred to as The Great American Race. Not only is he the race’s youngest victor, he also is the only driver to win in his first try. He gave the legendary Wood Brothers racing team – NASCAR’s oldest team – its first Daytona 500 victory since 1976. Throw in the fact that the car was painted to resemble David Pearson’s ’76 500 winner (which also won involved in one of those Hollywood-style finishes) and it has all the makings of a tinseltown blockbuster.
I hadn’t spoken to Loretta in what felt like ten years. I hadn’t played basketball with her…well let’s just say, in a very, very long time. So, when she called out of the blue and asked me to join a new women’s basketball league at a local park district in Chicago, I responded with a stammering “ok” that likely communicated equal amounts of excitement and terror.
On that first Wednesday night, my future teammates filed in, and we gently probed to find out if the other was playing for the local sports bar, Gio’s, who was sponsoring our team. Our team is called Gio’s Gals. We are women who range in age from our 20’s to our 50’s. We are a diverse group of professionals pursuing careers that range from forensics, restaurant management, executive consulting, sales to nursing. Some of us are moms and some of us are not. All of us have played the game at some time or another (mostly over 20 years ago!) and thought it would be fun to jump back in, get some exercise, meet new people and feel the competitive juices flowing again in our veins. We, of course, underestimated how sore, bruised and battered we would be.
We are rusty, but committed. We are older, but wiser. We are learning, growing and getting better with each game we play.
Because of the time constraints and responsibilities that come with being grown ups, we need to show up for games with no practice in between. We are playing women younger and more experienced. Not the best formula for a winning season yet it has afforded us all an opportunity to get back in touch with the athlete in us, challenge ourselves physically and be reminded of the lessons that accompany any well functioning team.
On Wednesday nights, whether before or after the games, my teammates – Katie, Loretta, Maggie, Misti, Bri, Michelle, Nikki, Jen, Cinnamon, Elizabeth and I – reflect on the game and life in general. I think we are all reminded of what we gained by playing on sports team in our youth. There were lessons then and we are reminded of them again. Here is the mid-season report:
·Everyone has their strengths, everyone has a role
oLearn to appreciate the talents each person contributes to the overall well-being and effectiveness of the team.
·Nothing trumps how great it feels to be cheered on by your teammates
oThere is nothing so energizing and motivating as a high five from a teammate after a good pass or shot made – or simply words of encouragement after an effort made.
·Challenging and learning from each other is key to growth
oWhen you create a safe supportive team environment there is ease around direct feedback and suggestions as we all have the same goal.
·Learning to accept defeat and still come back fighting
oThe final score is direct and unflinching. You either won or lost. Discovering how to graciously acknowledge a win is one thing…managing the “agony of defeat” is another. The ability to do that well comes from the collective will of the group to leapfrog over the defeat and immediately start focusing on how to improve for the next game. Katie reflected, “I like to win but what matters to me more today is the overall improvement of the team, rather than the individual win.”
·Pass and Shoot – finding the balance
oDiscovering the balance between taking the lead and supporting is essential for any team. Recognizing the balance between strategic and generous passing and having the confidence and will to take the shot when you are open is crucial to success. As Misti shared, “with age comes the wisdom to play seeing the big picture offensively and knowing what matters is to get the ball in the hands of the most well positioned player.”
·Play Hard, Have Fun…remember it’s a game
oThere is nothing so gratifying as giving the game all you’ve got and having fun doing it. We’ve found we need to remind each other when we are frustrated and down to find the joy even in that valley. After a recent loss, two of my teammates approached members of the opposing team who had been particularly aggressive on the court. Within minutes they were laughing together and had swapped stories. The tension lifted and new possibilities were presented. The found similarities rather than differences.
These lessons hold themes that apply not only to sports but to work and family as well. I am grateful to have the chance to revisit these lessons so vividly on the court with Gio’s Gals. During this season when we give thanks and appreciation – I say, “Thanks Team.”
Sustaining the effort is key to reaching your goals. My newsletter this month features many ideas on how to "live the lessons" to ensure success both personally and professionally….Take a look: http://tinyurl.com/2dlllcb
Earlier this month on vacation, I found myself in Huntington Beach, CA. (better known in some circles as "Surf City"). My visit just happened to coincide with the finals of the U.S. Open Surfing championships. Curious too see what this kind of sporting event would be like, my brother, who I was visiting, took me out onto the Huntington Beach Pier in time to watch the men’s final event. It had come down to the two top surfers – hometown native, Brett Simpson and South African, Jordy Smith – the number one ranked surfer in the world.
The two highly respected surfers paddled out to see what waves they might catch – as thousands of fans and on-lookers watched from the beach and the pier. The only problem – no waves. The ocean offered nothing – or at best very little.
Smith and Simpson spent the first 15 minutes of their 35 minute heat waiting for something to ride.
I found myself pondering this dilemma and drawing the obvious parallels between these two surfer’s dilemma and what we all face in our everyday lives – waiting and hoping for the right wave.
As the heat wore on, Simpson made his move with whatever decent wave came his way. From my novice eye, I was amazed at what he was able to do with waves that appeared tiny and impossible to leverage. Smith waited and waited – finally grabbing, too late in the game, whatever he could and was not able to execute. Simpson’s heat total of 13.97 our of 20 topped Smith’s score of 8.33 making him the first back-to-back U.S. Open winner since 1985-1986.
The hometown hero edged out the legend and as one commentator said, "He turned garbage into gold – he was smart, not lucky."
This experience has stayed with me as a great reminder that when we are "lucky" enough to get the right waves, things smoothly and seamlessly go our way. But more often, we have to do the very best we can with the opportunities that come our way – and those opportunities may be hard to see, challenging to surface and require an extraordinary amount of persistence and commitment but in the end, the victory is somehow sweeter.
Former UCLA Basketball Coach John Wooden died at age 99 on June 4, 2010. His legacy as a coach will live on and even in retirement – through speeches and books – he translated the lessons he shared with his championship teams to business professionals and anyone who wanted to discover the champion within themselves.
To honor the man and create an opportunity to remind each of us what he said, I share a few of the quotes that always struck a chord with me:
"The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team."
"If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?"
"A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment."
"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out."
"If you are not making mistakes, you aren’t doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes."
"Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming."
"Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It is courage that counts."
The list of memorable quotes could go on for much longer but I will stop here. His track record tells us that he knows a thing or two about motivation, success and the meaning of true teamwork. When his coaching career ended in 1975 his Bruins’ had won their 10th NCAA championship in 12 seasons – a record that will almost certainly never be matched. Pull out one of these maxims the next time you have an opportunity to coach and inspire.
